I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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