i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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