Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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