I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
