honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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