it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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