he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
