I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize