i just google imaged poop.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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