there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
