how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
