you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
