I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
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Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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