I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
