Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
how do flat chested girls get laid?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
