Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
