Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
