Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
