In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't deserve a penis
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
