You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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