Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
