There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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