I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she peed on how many people?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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