We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
