Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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