just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
