There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
soo... how was my night?
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