In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Houston, we have a blender
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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