you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
