Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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