even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
