i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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