Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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