for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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