Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
