My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.