His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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