i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
