I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I look better un-naked...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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