ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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