I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize