Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
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He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
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You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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