I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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