I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
