he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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