I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
