I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
