Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am spending my child support on dildos
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
