It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
