He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
