I'm gonna have a badass scar
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
