I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
