We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
