I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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