my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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