I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize