It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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